Thursday night's premiere of MTV’s controversial reality show ‘Jersey Shore’ was everything it was billed to be – and then some. The participants, chosen by MTV, live together for a summer in a beach house, ‘Real World’ style.
The Italian-American cast members refer to themselves repeatedly as “guidos” and “guidettes,” and are proud to represent their “lifestyle.” (Looks like concerns aired by Italian-American groups that the show depicts ethnic stereotypes were dead on.)
Mike, aka “The Situation,” describes a guido as “a good-looking, smooth, well-dressed Italian.” All eight 20-somethings embrace the word “guido." “There’s no negative connotations,” says Jenni, AKA “J-WOW.” SLIDESHOW: The crazy cast of 'Jersey Shore.' Controversy aside, "Jersey Shore" is vintage car accident TV, meaning even though, or perhaps because, you know you're going to see something gruesome, it's hard not to look.
The show’s standout, Nicole, aka “Snooki,” is a diminutive attention seeker with neon pink talons and towering platform sandals. An unnatural shade of orange-brown, Snooki, or as the other house members refer to her, Snickers, becomes upset that she’s not the center of attention and threatens to leave the house.
Snooki also assesses a muscled male housemate thusly: “Sexy as hell, got muscles, typical guido.”
Indeed. Housemate Angelina constantly chases away random girls the guys bring by. “When a girl is that much of a whore it pisses me off,” Angelina spits after a guest slams the door.
There is much yelling.
RELATED: Fox411's handy 'Jersey Shore' glossary.
Sammi begins breaking hearts immediately. Mike “The Situation” sets his sights on her, but in the end she chooses Ronnie. Snickers brings a random guy back to the house to hook up, but hilariously, he pukes. “J-WOW” wears jaw-dropping tops and gets together with Pauly. She takes a peek at his pierced package, but doesn’t sleep with him … yet. She has a boyfriend, you see.
Additional Dramatic Elements: Everyone fights, Vinny gets pink eye, Angelina doesn’t want to work at the t-shirt store, girls get naked in the hot tub, J-WOW wears a yellow "shirt," and everyone wears sweatpants.
In a word: Bedazzling.
Next week's episode preview features Snickers getting punched. In. The. Face. By a man. Soooooo grab the Valtrex and start pumping your fist.
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